Ever have moments where you just don’t want to do something or anything for that matter? You’re momentarily disenfranchised with everything…but frustrated because secretly you do want to do something…you just don’t know what. In moments like this my mind will run in an entertaining feedback loop. I don’t want to do what I am doing. I begin thinking for a hot second that I don’t want to do anything and relish in how nice that would be…only to realize in doing so I would be bored out of my mind…thus bringing me back to my task at hand. Through this process there is always one question that bubbles up for me. If I don’t want to do what I’m doing, and want to keep boredom at bay, then what do I want to do?
This is a question I have been entertaining since I was young. Through it, there are a couple of things I have come to realize. First, while there might be people to guide you throughout your life, most of life’s decisions are your own. No one but you can make them. It is you who has to make the decision to do something.
Next, if you are going to do something, why not make it worth doing? We could get into the whole ‘what is the purpose of life’ question here, but basically it comes down to one thing: Life is an occasion. Are you going to rise to it?
The next question in this series is: what do you consider worth doing? Again, this is a question only you can truly answer. This is a question of how well you know yourself. What do you like to do? What are your talents? If you could do ‘anything,’ what would that be? What are you passionate about? Who and what are you inspired by? These kinds of questions can be pondered in many ways: writing (journaling, creative writing, poetry, etc.), movement (dancing, yoga, tai chi running, etc), handwork (sewing, knitting, crocheting, salvage arts, etc.), arts (painting, drawing, sculpting, etc.), music (singing, playing, listening, creating, etc.), performance (acting, spoken word, dance, etc.), homesteading (gardening, canning, cooking, etc.), volunteering and many other methods of reflection and creative play.
Lastly, the question of ‘what you want to do’ is a lifetime journey. You will continue to mold and shape it your whole life. It does not have to be figured out in the next hour. It only matters that you are asking the question and pursuing an answer.
Some might call this pursuing happiness. I think of it as making my life worth something, not only to others, but also to myself. The weight and wake of our lives counts. It is our decision what we do with that opportunity.
Get your hands dirty…dig deep for your purpose.